I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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