So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
