And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize