gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
