So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
50% drunk capacity currently
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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