Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
