i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
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