physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
