And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
she pinky promised me she was 18
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
did you just send me my own nude
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
