i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Randomize
