I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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