i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
