Kiss
Puke
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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