the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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