I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
