I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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