I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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