is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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