D3 body, D1 cock
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
