Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
