ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize