I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
