This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize