She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
