Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Randomize
