ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
