Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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