is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
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