I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
