Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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