I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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