She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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