yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
