So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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