it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
