Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm bleeding and have questions
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
