You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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