your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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