Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
