"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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