Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize
