who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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