It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Randomize
