and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
it's like heaven, but drunker
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
