You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
