we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Randomize
