im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
