I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
