ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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