well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize