Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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