PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
