dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize