And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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