I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
