i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
