haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I wish you could order shots online.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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