I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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